I was born a worrier.

Currently listening to: The Script - Live Like We're Dying




Do you know how good it is when you're roaming round the city late in the night and you don't have to worry about transportation back to Clayton because YOU'RE STAYING IN THE CITY SUBURB WHERE TRAM WORKS UNTIL 1AM?



It feels damn good i tell you :P



Wei Liang and i were walking round the city late one night (after drinking lah what else) and i happily giddily told him that we don't have to worry about transport problems anymore because we don't have to sit a fucking train AND a bus back just to reach our home, although we have to endure a 10 minute walk back to our place after our tram ride lah. But then it's better to endure a 10 minute walk COMPARED to enduring a 10 minute bus ride AND a 15 minute walk back to sanctuary okay.



All hail trams.






The moron who help me set up my furnitures, fix my tv, be my housemate for one week, and make all the noise until we have our first noise complain from neighbours.



Life of the unemployed need people like him to help make the house run smoothly you see :P



One of the days we met up with our ex-high school mates to have dinner and drinks at Cho Gao and loads of great catching-up to do among ourselves.



After all the high school years, Leo activities, MUFY year, driving out for lunch almost every schooling day in-between classes, studying in the libraryalmost everyday till the ibrary closes when mid-term arrives, Monash Malaysia, and THEN Monash Australia comes into the picture,

and we're still together :D




Still be able to connect with Jannifer although not having see or have a proper chat with her for almost 2-3 years now ever since we left high school.

So nice to be able to hangout with school mates on intimate terms again although you don't see each other often, yet it doesn't put anyone in an awkward position at all when we greet each other in that boisterous nature of ours.


It's one of those momentous feelings that i like again. I love any feelings that makes the world all colourful :)



I watched the very-much-wonderful 2012 that everyone was talking about with Wei Liang before we meet up with the high-school gang at Crown Melbourne.

I cried during the whole damn movie because it was that sad.

Okay not exactly super sad lah but ohmygod, imagine if it's the end of the world, who do you want to spend your last day with? What do you want to say to people who you have harbour unsaid words for? What do you want to do with your whole intact body, mind and soul then? Who would be the last person on your mind when disaster strikes?

And to think that 2012 could actually be real? Can anyone imagine what happen then? Like literally a whole new era could start and the best thing is, you don't know if you will be alive from all that.

Will i get a boyfriend then? AHAHAHAH.

One of the days when Wei Liang went to look for his friend, i went to Alex's house to see him for awhile and maybe say bye bye to him before i leave to Sydney for 10 days.

I was browsing through some magazine of his in the living room when Alex came and sat down next to me on the sofa, looking at me with this serious intense composure that i know very well showing on his face and dread it most of the time when he gives me that lok because i know it's going somewhere that's not very good on my part.

"we need to talk"

4 words in a single sentence that i dread people (especially him) transmitting to me.

As i expected when it comes to the both of us, 'We need to talk' went on about 15 minutes to half an hour until it took a 180 degree turn to a full-blown out-of-proportion argument that clearly does not resemble 'talk'.

Why the fuck do people want to have to always talk seriously -_-

In the end, before i walk out of the apartment, i turn to him and went "i am going Sydney for 10 days by that time when i'm back i hope you have brought some senses into that head of yours" and slam the door right behind him.

When i was well a block away from his apartment i called the Kin Lee and start ranting my brains out at him while he was packing up his own apartment -_-



"my fault meh now?! you tell me lah my fault is it now! YOU TELL ME!"
"you sure you're not thinking too much into it ah"
"for your information, it's not me the one who goes all 'WE NEED TO TALK' okay! and why do people want to talk lah seriously!! we were having so much fun somemore damn it!"
"........ well i'm sorry that the person has to be so concern about your feelings because he doesn't know that you're not born with emotional glands you see" -_-

I just love the way people tried to praise yet diss me for the person that i am too.

After ranting my life away i met up with the Fina who took me round the god-damn city for the preparation of her wedding stuff looking round for stationery shops and chilling at Match Bar and Grill at QV for wine after a tiring epic tour of the city.



I am really taking this "staying in the city" thing to its full advantage seriously.

Now if only i could get a job.



Will be going to Sydney for 10 days just to fill up my holidays before my mom, sis and godma comes on the 14th of December. Am going to see brother along the way while in Sydney and stay over at his place, hopefully the part where he feeds me and let me play with Guitar Heroes comes into the story as well. And i don't know why Wei Liang wants me to stay with him for 7 days lah mudder dah lah come to Melbourne was bored to death all going out with other people with me seem damn uninterested also ask him to drink macam tak da semangat like that, how to survive another 7 days with me lah you tell me -_-

What am i gonna do in Sydney for 10 days i don't know. All i know is i just want to eat, sleep, walk around, take pictures, drink, eat more, drink more, take more pictures, hopefully sleep, and that's it. My ideal holiday. And i hope that when it comes to the eating part someone is there to feed me cook me my food or maybe take me out to eat instead cause i think in future days to come i would be cooking on my own more instead so i better be taking more of the advantage of someone feeding me instead. My ideal holiday.

If only i have a Chuah with me -_-



If you people din't hear from me for 10 days please don't worry because i am actually rotting my lazy ass away in a city that is WORST and 10 times more hectic than Melbourne itself.

But after that 10 days if you still did not hear from me then you better be calling someone to come check on me, i might hang myself or maybe gas-poison myself to suffocation since i already have a gas-stove in my house kan? Now that i'm staying in a properly-function house i got more ways for me to kill myself here instead of Blackburn Road being my only way of dying kan.




You know why you people should check on me then?






Exam results coming out on the night of December 3rd -_-

I'm not sure how I'm going.

Currently listening to: Delta Spirit - People C'mon




The face of a (would be/might be/maybe) soon-to-be graduate.

Who does not seem happy the moment this picture was taken because the thought of investing in all these comforts to let her live in Melbourne and the thought of not being able to obtain a job in 8 months and spending more unnecessary money is bringing her spirit down.


But..... life goes on. If i have to send in 300 resumes and cover letters just to get some job that will bring me somewhere and sustain me for 8 months, then THAT'S WHAT I WILL DO!

Die die also have to lah right -_-



The sad thing was going round the halls saying your last few goodbyes to your hallmates.

I've lived with them for almost 2 years now.

Did not take any pictures with most of the hallmates because i was too caught up in catching up with them and saying our best wishes to one another.

Was especially sad that can't say a proper goodbye to Bronwyn, but thankfully she's got a car so she can come and check me out sometime anyway. But would have been nice if i was able to say bye bye to most of the hallmates because... really, when will i be able to see them again huh? Facebook can only do so much.

There's a difference in keeping touch face-to-face and keeping in touch electronically.

The night before i was due for the city permanently, i went out with Shaun Lai and Kuhen to go for Wendi's early birthday and some party to the city along with the rest of some friends before Lim Wen Di head back to Malaysia for the hols.

Wish i was the one going back to Malaysia permanently instead -_-

At the old place Melbourne Lions, and then to Rue Rebellion for some chill-out music and then BACK to Lions again because Wen Di decided that she wants to go all-out crazy and i drank with her one Black Widow, one Waterfall Blue Curacao, bottle of beer, Vanilla Pancake shot and Lychee Absinthe shot.

I am very good in regaining my old self back thank you very much.

Look at how happy we all are.

And then i came back at 4+am and have to last-minute pack my world up in mere plastic bags and pasar malam bags to join the rat race in the city ON THAT DAY ITSELF.

All my shit of 10 months ready to be move to another place where i spend another 10 months and then back to KL for good.

How empty and somber the walls feel.

It's a very weird feeling, to have the knowledge that you will not be back here again. 10 months of your life is measured by the amount you pack in refugee plastic bags.


The cousin fetched me to and fro in sending my things over which took only 2 trips thank god, and i can tell you, the feeling is like when i first move into halls again, but it feels like i got more responsibilities piled on my shoulders and my worrying scale has rise up to another 6 more notches due to financial issues and thinking of more stuff like how to pay the rent, how you can't live the lights on as much as you like anymore, how you have to buy more stuff for the house compared to buying little things that you only need for one room, etc etc. When my cousin left, it left me with the feeling of emptiness again where i have to face a new place alone, foreign and unhomely for the moment.

But i will manage, i will manage.

Clean the house like i've never clean a house for 10 years in my entire life and then got to straightening out alot of things in the place to make it into something that i can live with for 8 months. Time will pass by fast as long as i keep looking forward to something everyday. Never in my life have i clean a place so ferociously and efficiently vacuuming the whole apartment, clean the toilet, wipe the furnitures, clean the kitchen, mop the floor.

I now realise i am made of domestic material after all :P

Wei Liang drop down from Sydney the day after i move in and i catch him to assemble my furnitures for me. I now have a decent coffee table as my study table, a clothes rack, some shelf organizer, etc. minus the posters that i'm going to stick on the wall like old times again, i now have a nice decent comfortable room with a nice big big double bed that i dearly find comfort in compared to having a single bed all my life now :P

Wei Liang: "fuck lah i come here i have to fix up all this shit for you, i'm suppose to be on holiday okay" -_-
"eh i can only disturb you once a year only okay, at least let me use you for awhile to fix up everything in my house so i can live comfortably and then layan you better as well lah! if not then how you going to enjoy holidays here as nice right! YOU TELL ME"

So nice to have nice manly help around to do all the heavy work for you :P

Barely reach 2 nights i was in that apartment and already at 3am on my second night there i got a noise complain from a neighbour.


I don't know which neighbour is he but whatever it is i think i am blacklisted by him and the rest of my neighbours already HOHOHO -_-

I don't get why everytime i move to a new place i will surely get noise complain. First year was noise complain from next-door neighbour Nancy (not Chuah, because my noise was entertainment to her), then the second year was Ellen (not Elizabeth because if it is she wouldn't even be staying with me now), and now it's some chapalang neighbour who i never get to ask if he's my direct neighbour ke or my upstairs neighbour or my downstairs neighbour, but whatever it is i think neighbours would be very aware of apartment unit 4 already. Must be thinking "oh shitttt, this new neighbour is pro-noise"

Mudder must be Wei Liang damn noisy i tell you, on radio loud loud with his Macbook making so much noise somemore -_-



I went for a job interview just today. Whether i got it or not is another matter. Right at this moment i am trying not to worry my life away and just enjoy the city life that i'm getting so use to now although it has only been 4 days. I would have much rather work for a job that doesn't require me to don the office clothes for awhile, but knowing my parents, i have to go through career websites like my life depended on it to give me the job that can sustain my entire life, write cover letters like mental and read through it millions of times for fear that i wrote the wrong company name requesting for the wrong job (which naturally happen to me once or twice and make me want to throw the laptop to the wall) and break my heart piece by piece whenever i received rejection emails like i just broke up with each boyfriend that i received an email.



Such is life.



Not like i got experience many rejection with boys alot lah, but i get that being rejected by a guy is as bad since i get such feelings from being rejected by companies right -_-

God.... from moaning about uni work complaining about assignment deadlines classmates to talking about writing resumes and cover letters and job offers and bills and money.

See how my life has change now.






Do you feel a change of an era here already?

I want to hold hands and waste Friday nights with you.

Currently listening to: Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes




One of those days where i have to tie up my hair.




Because it's so damn hot here now T_T


I don't recall summer starting this early last year. But damn it heatwave is hitting hard it doesn't even leave time for us to prepare for the sudden transition.



I have this one beer bottle in my room since 24th of September, and i never got to drinking it because it always never cross my mind no matter how many times my sight fell on it, hence it has been standing on my table for like.... a month plus and the beer has become quite warm already by now -_-

Today, i finally chilled the bottle in the fridge so that i can drink it tonight. Nearly forgot about it after i came back from the boys' place in Rusden. I went to the kitchen to take it out from the fridge praying that no one took my beer since i labeled it on a post-it with my name on it, and now i'm drinking it! :D



If only i have retired and this is the life i'm leading now.




Huizie says:
i quite like singapore also lah
but i like melbourne also
dude if u go singapore i will follow u lah

liwun says:
den we can stay together
yar, thats one of my options lah
if u don make it in melb u let me know lah

Huizie says:
i will send u a damn memo
"li wun we're going to singapore"
HOHOHOHO

liwun says:
HAHAHAHAHA
wtf!
"ok just quit my job"

Huizie says:
AHAHAHAHAHHAH
THATS EVEN WORST
AHAHAHAHAH!!!!

liwun says:
HAHAHAHAHA
remember ah
whoever send memo must drop everything and go



The drastic actions that we have to take where our future is concern.


It's quite nice to have someone to run away with you when things isn't going right. The number of shit plans that Li Wun and i have come up with if our own plans does not work so we have loads more back-up plans to fall back to.



I like to say we are very prepared people.



I went to the boys' place to hangout (play PlayStation and drink beer lah what else) this afternoon after they came back from Caulfield all done with exams. We were just nicely having some fun together as usual chit-chatting while playing some fighting game. And as always our chit-chat will always turn to some arguments that we cannot control spiralling out of thin air, and this time we argued over boy-girl relationships because we're very passionate about every little thing that we have debate over.


2 boys versus one lonely girl about the fairness of relationships is NOT FUNNY i tell you -_-



"of course i would be damn paranoid if i got together with a guy and then found out his ex is someone that he can see himself married with in the future, i would be damn insecure lah! And of course i would like to know why he broke up with her and naturally who wouldn't compare herself to his ex WHO HE CAN SEE HIMSELF MARRIED WITH DAMN IT!"
Matthias: "i don't know why you girls damn sensitive one. If he got together with you means that the ex tak jadi means tak jadi lah! what the fuck you all think so much for what! He got together with you already what, why bring the past up for!"
"it's not sensitive or what you know, you just want to know what is it about this girl that someone can actually see himself married with, you don't just simply break-up with someone like that ok! Surely must be something big happen for them to putus like that, it's damn bad ok. What happens if the break-up is not mutual or anything! Mana tau if he got together with me but still so in love with his ex, damn unfair for me I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST!!!"
Roh Khai: "but i still don't get why you all want to know about our ex'es one. We tell you our ex'es nevermind you know, but then if we were in the same room together with them you female species sure get super beh tsong stare at them up down from head to toe one loh!"
"that's because you all never give your girlfriends the secure feeling that there's nothing going on between you and your ex'es that's why! then you people must also have talk with your ex-gfs like super happy one lah must be! it's like seeing your boyfriend relieving his relationship with his ex okay!!"
"haiyah you females memang think damn alot one lah. End of story!"



Wah lau i tell you, can die wei talking with this people when you're doing a one-man show yourself.

Where are my back-ups when i needed them -_-


But seriously, i would be quite insecure especially if my boyfriend is surrounded by beautiful girls all the time, and maybe some of these beautiful girls could be his ex or he has some sort of crush or like them before but tak jadi. Imagine if he goes drinking with them also.

I really want to trust him, but i don't know if i can if he's drunk with them as well.



I'm overreacting aren't i.



This life is crazy.


But even when you broke up with someone, sometimes you hope that you will still remains friends them even when you're getting married. You hope you'll be able to invite them to the wedding and pray that they'll come. Then they'll see you as the happiest person in the world. They'll see you with this person that treats you right and loves you more than the person itself. They'll see all that you could've had and part of them'll regret letting you go.


But the thing that you want them to see the most is that you survived without them.



That's how unforgiving people are deep down. You still want to maintain your friendship with them, yet you want them to see how happy you are without them, and hopefully they will feel guilty about leaving you in the first place.

There is no such thing as forgive and forget man. What they did to you in the first place will stick to you like a scar that will never fade. When something bad happens to them, you'll secretly think in your heart, "serves them right".



At least, that's what i feel, deep down.






Don't lie to me and say that you wish them happiness i tell you. Cause that would be real funny i would be laughing straight in your face instead.

Be fearful of mediocrity.

Currently listening to: James Blunt - 1973




20 random facts about me that i thought people would be entertain with and because i was bored and i don't want to study yet -_-




Random fact #1
I don't know how to write my Chinese name


Random fact #2
I adore fedora hats. I think it's the one and ONLY fashion accessory that suits me.


Random fact #3
If i can, i would eat pasta everyday. But because people would be exclaiming "PASTA AGAIN?!!?" when they saw me with pasta again, i will be damn shy. So i eat pasta on alternate days together with rice -_-


Random fact #4
If i have a son, i will name him Ivan, Ian, or Christopher. I don't know about little girl's name. I wanted Megan, and then i found a life-size Megan who terrorize my life, i doubt i will name my future daughter Megan anymore. Actually come to think about it..... i know an Ian who is damn terrorizer as well -_-


Random fact #5
I don't think i can eat fine-dining food anymore where they serve their main meal in a size where i could gulp it in one swallow. My appetite is equivalent to 3 elephants and always have been. I eat one cup of rice for myself if you do not know that.


Random fact #6
One day, i need to sit myself down, and study the art of poker.


Random fact #7
I fall in love easily with beautifully-attractive girls who are super friendly towards scums like me. Makes me have faith in humanity again.


Random fact #8
I am easily bribed. Just feed me food, beer, give me flowers of daisies and white lilies, or buy me a pint of Cookies and Cream ice-cream and you would win back my heart.


Random fact #9
My idea of tea-time is drinking beer accompanied with a bowl of fries.


Random fact #10
I finally found a beverage that i like in Max Brenner after going there so many times drinking hot chocolate that i don't like. From now on, you will see me ordering Banana Milk Chocolate Frappe :D



(Ya Allah 11 more facts to go)



Random fact #11
Banana is my favourite fruit, and i DON'T MEAN IT IN ANY OTHER WAY EXCEPT IN THE FOOD TERM.


Random fact #12
I like to laugh to myself in my room alone like a psycho person for no reason at all. I do that alot.


Random fact #13
I like to drink beer while doing assignments. If only there's a bowl of crinkly-cut fries to go along with it, i look forward to doing assignments everyday.


Random fact #14
My idea of laziness is lie down in front of the Tv, sprawl myself on the sofa, watch some TV series or movie, while eating Baskin Robbins Cookies and Cream :D


Random fact #15
I look 90% like my mother. But domesticity skills don't match hers at all. If only i got 50% of her domestic skills, imagine the food i could cook and how sparkly clean my room would be.


Random fact #16
Other than graduation, if i get skydiving and sex done, i can die already.


Random fact #17
Whenever people say "i miss you" to me, i always feel a glowing happiness in the heart :)


Random fact #18
I love to play Uno cards! It's my favourite card game ever! You have no idea how excites i was when i discovered Uno game on MSN man... not as exciting as playing the physical one, but still as nice to play with friends online. Especially when you got multiple games going on and you have to fast fast 'slam' your card down and moan whenever someone draw you to take 2 cards ot of nowhere :P


Random fact #19
I can't wait to fall in love and get emo over it just so i can see what the hype is about.


Random fact #20
It took me 4 years to successfully master the art of being emotionally-detach from feelings. It's quite hard, but i succeeded. Not successfully completely since there are still people who can twist me here and there, but good enough to let me do alot of things without hurting myself and not bothered about others.






I need to get back to studying. If only there was beer and crinkly-cut fries.

My pillow still smells like you.

Currently listening to: Missy Higgins - Where I Stood




I love it how when i'm studying in the middle of the night, there are this bunch of people who calls you on Skype incessantly that leaves you taken aback for a moment but you automatically answer those calls without hesitation.



Stephanie: "what are you doing now"
"trying to study. What's up?"
"i tell you, today, FUCK MY LIFE"



And they start updating you about their day and how this one day summarizes the verdict of their entire life.


Then you have a blinking MSN message in the background that is hard to ignore you have to ask the person you're conversing with to hang on because you're bad with multi-tasking like that so you can fully concentrate on the conversation box.



Joel Khan says:
today, FML

And another blinking message from a different conversation box that starts like this.



Ken Neth says:
FML la!!!!!!

Not to forget your handphone rang with this cool new trance ringtone song and before you could even say anything else after "Hello Natie",

Natie: "FUCK LAH HUI ZIE TODAY DAMN TSUI SERIOUSLY!!!!!"

Few minutes after that, another person calls you on Skype and you automatically answer it after recognition strikes at a mere glance of the Caller ID.



Denise: "whyyyyyy.... WHYYYYY ME!!!!"

And it's funny that when all of them are being vulgar about their life, they come to you at approximately the start of 12am midnight.

But it's not like you were studying very hard anyway, so you just layan lah you know. And you kind of want to sibuk why their life is fuck in approximately the same time as the rest of the world, and sometimes you wish that you rather have their problems than deal with your own exam thing that you weren't even studying hard for in the first place -_-

Yesterday, full moon must have strike or something for most people. In one night i have 7 of them screaming to me about their fuck-up day and because i don't exactly have the multi-tasking skills to entertain all of them at once, one of them even threaten to hang himself and slit his wrist if i don't get to him immediately.

My emotional range is only the size of a teaspoon. I can only deal with emotional people one at a time if you do not know that -_-

I only feel shit about studying, but i don't think that is exactly labeled as "fuck my life" right.

The only person who did not message me to moan to 'fuck his life' was Jimmy. We were gossiping instead, which was so cute because i love gossiping with Jimmy although you think he be the quiet one when you first saw him but i tell you, when you know him better and he starts gossiping with you, it's damn fun seriously :P



Jimmy says:
i walked out of my room
and i saw the gurl in the kitchen only in jords t-shirt, in the morning somemore
wat a scene
the best thing is this gurl got bf one u kno
so i think... this benefit thing working very well for them xD

Huizie says:
WAH
SO BENEFICIAL

i want also
so nice to have something to look forward to when u see someone
when not single also!!
super risky business but....
i damn like

Jimmy says:
i kno rite
literally just buddies who hook up
how fun is that
so hard to find gurls like that now.... detached from feelings and just have fun even when they are taken
if only all gurls are like her and u
life would be good xP

Huizie says:
-_-
why thank u for linking me to an emotionless heartless person

Jimmy says:
LOLOLOLOLOL
i dont mean thattttt
just..... haiyah ppl shud just be detached from feelings and not feel guilty to have fun lar
luckily yr learning the rite way to enjoy life for now xD
smart

Huizie says:
....... i am glad that i make u proud of the way i live
at least i did something right for once

You know how when you were younger, the perception of not getting in-between people who are attached is always drilled into you thinking that it's bad and morally wrong and disrespectful and you break people up and stuff like that.

As we grew older, we screw off alot of things that we learned in the past.

Apart from making a silent pact to not disturb the engaged or the married and to not make a go at your friends' other half or ex'es or whatever you call it unless permission granted, we now do everything the complete opposite of what we learn when we were younger. For some reason it did not irk nor disgust you to hear your friends or acquaintances doing these 'beneficial' things; in fact you were more excited when you heard it by replying back "aiyoh, why so exciting one!" and you end it with "as long as his/her bf/gf or your bf/gf don't find out, then enjoy it man".

Not that this concept of accepting applies to everyone but.... as for myself i look at the positive side of having fun along with people who doesn't see a problem with it.

Or maybe we're the 'sick' ones who think this is fun.


How our mindset has change over the years as time taught us things.

I am now on a joke-telling spree because in all the nights that i stayed up until 5am Melbourne time attempting to study, Daniels has accompanied me through these nights telling me jokes that in all my life of knowing her i have no idea where the hell she come up with all these lame things from. The best thing is the jokes she comes up with is super lame and super original and no 2 jokes she tell is the same with other people, so i always copy down those jokes so that IF I REMEMBER i can tell it to my friends as well :P



Megan says:
ok dude dude dude!
another one another one!

Huizie says:

okokok
tell me tell me tell me

Megan says:
wat is the most mysterious brand in the world???

Huizie says:
.......

ok i dunno
wat

Megan says:
GUESS

Huizie says:

.............
.............
!!!!!!!!!
YA ALLAH DANIELS

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Can you see how getting stoned with Daniels can be damn funny as well? :P



And look what picture i found!

Memories.

When i was in Leo Club Taman Sea acting as Funding Director, one of the task i have to do is design and sell badges to create funds for the club (obviously).

This is one of my designs. Used to sell quite well too. Don't know the current board of directors still reproduce it or not. I love this design, i think i designed 3 badges for Leo Club last time, can still remember how it looks like, but i can't seem to find the pictures for those anymore.


The only time that i was ever committed to anything ever, in my entire life of schooling seriously.



After 3000 years and lots of yammerings from hallmates and friends, i finally downloaded DC++ (jimmy: "part of after-detox program is it xP ") because i figured that by the time my exam finish and the next day i move out from halls i wouldn't have the time to download exactly everything that i want to download. So...... i abit shy to ask people purposely come to my room and work it out for me because they are studying for exams and i don't want to bother them lah right, so i ask the address thing from Peter, tekan here and there little bit, and then wah lau, got abit excited that i got it to work MYSELF (an achievement for a cacat non-tech person like me okay) then i was on a downloading spree already, all studying conveniently forgotten.

I now have One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Skins, Greek, Friends Season 1 all stored up nicely in their respective folders waiting for me to watch them all..... and then my hard drive decides that it cannot take anymore shows.

Babi -_-



Whyyyyyy..... why did i not take my brother up on the offer of him getting me an extra hard drive lahhhhh......

And there's a nice fuzzy feeling in knowin that you're considered a friend in someone's life that they invite you as one of the few people to attend her small birthday dinner.




Aljafri's birthday dinner in Pescare at Glen Waverly, together with Sivabalan, Deevina, Aljafri's boyfriend Chris and two of Aljafri's other friends.


It's been such a long time i have dinner where restaurant is posh-like and the presentation of the food is so neat and creative and the waiters clear out your plates for you in the most systematic manner and orderly manner, it feels quite nice sometimes to have your meals in an elaborate setting enjoying it with friends and having good food too :)

The only times i would be in restaurants like this is four times a year: Kin Lee's birthday, Ken Neth's birthday, and then Ken Neth takes me out for my birthday, and Kin Lee takes me out another time for another birthday dinner :P




And hey, i never forget you. I'm just waiting for the right time to drink with you again.

So that when the time for us to meet up comes, your anticipation to see me will build and when we drink together, it would be one of the best days of our lives again, just like before every shit happens.






It will be like nothing ever change between us.

We should hook up sometime.

Currently listening to: Fall Out Boy - What a Catch, Donnie




Let's pretend that you people do not know me at all.




Take a look at the picture below.

Or take as many looks as you want to better answer some questions ( :P ) and write down simple answers to the questions below based on your first impression/superficial judgment of what you think of me from the picture above.


1. Do you think i have a boyfriend?
2. Do you think i'm happy or sad on the inside?
3. Do you think i'm a virgin?
4. How old do you think i was when i had my first kiss?
5. How many boyfriends do you think i've had?
6. Do you think i'm shy or loud?
7. Do you think i'm good in school or the rebel?
8. Do you think i've ever smoked weed?
9. Do you think i'm hiding something?
10. How old do you think i look?
11. Do i look mature or immature?
12. What kind of music do you think i'm into?
13. Do you think i have any body piercings? If so, where?


Don't based your judgment on what you read from my life can. Defeats the whole purpose of "looking at the picture and judge from what you see on first impression" thing. And when i say pretend to not know me at all, i mean that YOU HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD OF ME ANYTIME BEFORE THIS and just imagine that some dude show you this random picture and ask you "what you think of this chick" okay -_-


Because some people can be so smart alec they answer based on how they know me instead of their first time seeing me from this picture right -_- So i have to emphasize the point of answering BASED on first impression of the picture above.


You can type your answers below this post labeled "0 important views" and for your information, anyone can post their comments there too instead of the chatbox only you know :P So if you don't feel like bombarding my chatbox you can place your comments there as well you see.



I bet some of you do not know this :P




I keep alot of emails and snail mails, and i still do write them alot.


I love writing snail mails. When i feel like i'm starting to distant from friends who are either busy with college or work and majority of them were flying off overseas for eduction, i bought loads of notepads and write them letters. I assume the boys would especially be damn malas so i have to pester them to write me at least one short letter to keep the ties going (Jordan: "Huh?! Then what's the computer for??? Catch mouse ah?"). My heart tickles when i open my postbox and saw envelopes with stamps from Australia and Germany then i read it intently in my room, so funny to see their handwritings scrawling on whatever pieces of A4 paper that they could find, and i have to snicker when i saw Joel's printed scrap-paper have "taxation of capital gains" notes all over behind it or Jenna's one to be on some music notes that she was composing and slashed heavily here and there with this BRIGHT RED PEN.

I still keep all these letters and postcards in a mooncake box in my room, i will take it out to read sometimes and unveil the intricate emotions that's written on ordinary papers with black-and-white verbal emotions.


After reading i would take out my notepad to reply all the letters, put stamps on them and slip them inside the bright red postbox just outside my house in Cheow Yang.



Along the months.... i see most of my friends freaking malas to write letters right (the only layan one was Jenna in the end, who until now still send me some snail mail) so i upgraded to 2.0 technology of emailing. FOR SOME REASON people more semangat in writing the emails they write the emails longer than mine sometimes. And the way they write their emails is more EXPRESSIVE and more like themselves equivalent to how they talk in real life, there are times when i just had to laugh to myself at the irony of it. Maybe it's because when people think they fingers move together along the keyboard faster equivalent to how swift their mind think.

And i keep all these emails in separate folders classifying which category their in, so that i can open them someday and read back on what's written.



I was procrastinating from my studies, i was looking through my emails and i just randomly clicked on one of the folders and read some of the emails that i don't think my friends and acquaintances would remember half of the things they write also. But i tell you i nearly died laughing at half of the things written, the contents making me think wistfully at how long ago this felt and the naivety that followed each and every one of us in our new steps to life of living overseas, of further education, of love, of friends, of trying out new things, of the bad times we had, of every little titbits that we want to share with people we love.



Some excerpts from emails that i just rediscovered cheerful feelings again:

"i was playing the grand piano today during orchestra practice and OBVIOUSLY i could see almost everyone seated in the strings section and oh my i saw this god-awesomely cute double bass player with his hair tied back in a funky ponytail, hair not that long just shoulder-length like how male models normally have and i think he's from Greece or something oh dear *sweating* and for a fact i know he stays 4 doors down the corridor from me. I love music schools <3"

- Jenna, 2007, when she first went to Germany for further music education and she found herself very adapted with her music friends and her dormitory quite easily.



"WOOT!! unisex toilet! whoohoo! then how? u walk into the toilet and u'd see some guys peeing? if all also cubicles...then can see legs that kind ar? and the showers how? all doors ar?"

- Wai Kit, 2008, being a jakun when i told him all the toilets here in the hostels are unisex in the beginning in my first few weeks of Melbourne staying in Roberts Hall.



"today, i was sightseeing around city, n i saw all these bongs selling in a shop along this main street lar. i tot i buy one, triple filter one, coz it looks damn cool, and damn long i get high with a bong, would be damn fun with joel and shaun lar u know? lazy to roll joints now also. so i bought it, 50 oz bucks, around RM100??? neways, i walk along another street, and there was this other bong shop, n not only do they sell a MUCH-MORE-FUCKING-OUT-OF-THE-WORLD-COOL triple filter, but they sell it at a fucking 39 OZ BUCKS WTH fuck my life &%##%^$#!!! i cannot tahan i bought the MUCH-MORE-FUCKING-OUT-OF-THE-WORLD-COOL triple filter, went back home, and sell my stupid 50 OZ BUCKS-THAT-I-HAVENT-USE-FILTER on ebay. n guess how much i sold it for????

80 bucks HAHAHAHHAH losers =P"

- Jordan, 2007, who embraces all of Melbourne's vices a year before i went and embrace it myself. When he mention all these things in the email i was actually quite stun that they sell all this bong things legally and i think how cool Melbourne is :P



"I'm sad to say that I'll disappoint you here. Hahaha. There's a heaps of girls to look at. But none to get close with. So too bad la."

- Kenneth, 2007, telling me how he won't have any girlfriends because he think the girls don't want him. Now look who has every girl clinging to him now.



"u know..today i walked up the stairs to class from the 2nd floor to the 6th floor..4 times today!!! i was so proud of myself at first but then when i got home my knees hurt like hell!!! gosh!!! will never do that again!!! hahaha"

- Denise, 2007, proclaiming to me her triumphant feat walking up down the stairs of Auckland University of Technology but went back home grievously injured :P



"jie, are u ok? looks like you're having fun in uni, is assignments alot? Don't just study, hangout with friends more okay. Don't worry about anything here, all is fine, nothing to bother about. Dad loves you okay"

- Dad, 2007, telling me not to worry about anything but then in the end i went back home and WORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING -_-



"i don't think i can read novels anymore. i dunno how ppl do it. like... reading a whole damn novel and still enjoys it. dah lah read journals dah mau mati somemore want me to read novels haiyoh fuck lah my brain needs to do brainless things not MORE other brainy things that will make me think 10 times more ok =_= some ppl just have too much brainpower. oh wait...... that sounds like you"

- Shaun the alligator, 2006, finding it hard to fathom how normal uni students can do the most bizarre intelligent things in great old Melbourne Uni.



"i thought when i go into class i would expect to see all guys lah u know? i mean wat can u expect rite my subject with the name control and dynamical systems, which gurls would go for it la seriously. half of them would be in environmental engineering classes dammit. but then i went in i saw GURLS. and my lecturer is a LADY. i thought i went into the wrong class somemore. i ask the lecturer "uuhhh is this control and dynamical systems??" wah jackpot when she answer back "yes come on in ur in the right class!" went in and purposely sit down next to a gurl, which is now my partner for labs for the whole sem xD LOL so maybe doing computer engineering not as bad as i assume lar ok. there is still chance for me to marry a technology-savvy gurl xD"

-Jimmy, 2007, enjoyed first day of classes in Caltech already and has confidence that he still got a chance to marry the girl of his dreams.



"so stressing to look at others work theirs is like super creative man. mine really like kindy kid. -_-".. anyways, lately my classes end all damn early and i will just go straight to the library. yes, i'm a eunice >_>"

- Mei Yuen, 2007, when she started out her interior design course in KBU while i was doing first year in Monash Malaysia. Now she's doing quite well in her course already compared to how she was struggling when she first start classes.



"why are u replying my emails so fast? don't u have guys out there to go out and kiss??? and u bitch, i left and u decide to do all these things without me there lah!!!! AND HOW COME JENNA KNOWS ALL THIS EARLIER THAN I DO!!!!! unacceptable!!!!! i demand a friendship prioritisation!!!!!!"

- Natalia, 2007, when i replied her email and she was finding all sorts of faults with me for downgrading her on my friend prioritisation list when she ran off to Toronto.



"dont worry, no other huizie can replace this one. but since u mentioned it.. YOU better not find another liwen to take over, i tell u.. dont worry, i won't kill u, but i'll just find another better huizie for myself! hah!"

- Li Wen, 2007, during the months where we were separated in Monash Malaysia with her doing Business and myself doing ARts and i whine to her she better not be finding another Huizie to replace me.



"guess hu decides to be smart and try to cook fried rice (irshad)??? guess hu doesn kno how to crack an egg (irshad)??? guess hu nearly burn down the kitchen 5 times (irshad)??? guess hu has to do all the cooking and prawn peeling like a pro (me)??? AND GUESS HU CAME UP WITH THE BEST NASI GORENG LA. this one no need to guess =P

irshad is lousy"

-Timothy, 2007, in his victorious conquest of doing his own cooking with Irshad when they move in to Natie and her brother's place to stay in Toronto.




Then there are some messages from Facebook that i was looking through and did not realise how there are some i did not remember reading or even replied back as well. I thought they were kind of funny too, and when i read through it certain feelings sort of revisited and it was amusing to let memories run through in my mind for reminiscence sake.



"found u on fb ! add me on msn, yihaur@hotmail.com"

- Some people can be such a stalker i tell you. But i was macho enough, i ask him to add me instead :P



"i know ive asked this question before to yu guys... but cant remember now (except yu P, but just being nice)...when u guys getting back ? im comin back on the 11th evening! if anyone is coming around that time ...interested in getting a cabie to halls? (wait i just remembered that emily is gonna miss 1st week...so i shud probably kick her out of this mail too...but once again being nice)"

- Jane, 2008, nearing the end of winter break when he asked around when we coming back to Melbourne from our respected homeland.



"i want to cry because i cannot join you dalam megahan 10 tequila shots"

- Khairie, 2008, when i went back to Malaysia for winter break and i told him what i wanna do with Daniels :D



"woi woman! when u come back better be calling! super miss you, you have no idea how upset when i can't manage to meet up with you when we're in the same damn country at the same time okay! don't make me cut ties with you, because i don't want to cut ties with you!!!"

- Elaine Therng, 2008, when i told her that i'm going back at the end of last year trying to meet up with her before she flies back to Pennsylvania.




I love to read back on these messages and muse over the relationships with everyone again, it feels nice :) If i can do it, i love to save my SMS messages and read back on everything that i went through with that small gadget. I think i got even more memories stored in that handphone of mine compared to anything save in the Internet.

You know what's the funniest thing? I keep certain slice of conversations on MSN Messenger as well when i chat with friends. I keep them in a word document, titled "Conversations".


That's how i get to post up some funniest or meaningful conversations here :P




Aljafri was showing me some cakes that she really wanted for her upcoming birthday from some website and i kind of diverted to "21st birthday cakes" category cause i'm sibuk that way and i can't help but admire in bewilderment at all the cake pictures on that website ohmygod SINCE WHEN CAKES CAN BE DAMN CHUN ONE DAMN IT.

I am deprived of my 21st birthday cake now. I want a pretty 21st birthday cake too. Not that i super such a birthday cake person lah but...... how can cakes be so pretty already eh? T_T



It's been 6 years since i had a birthday cake already. I have my reasons, you can ask me too :P



Okay nevermind i go back to Malaysia and have my Chocolate Banana Cake or Oreo Cheese Cake to myself because i miss them so much too, and i will eat the WHOLE CAKE and watch HBO on Astro because i like it like that.


I have always wanted to try to eat like the whole 2kg cake to myself to see if i'm able to do it or not :P




I used to hate the Black Eyed Peas's I Gotta Feeling, because it's so irritatingly repetitive and there's no other originality when i first heard it, but i did not exactly boycott completely the song because i have that small inkling feeling that one day i will come to slowly like that song and repeat it like crazy because of the constant times i kept listening to it.

One fine night one of my happy memories happened when they played this song in the background, and this song fit exactly the mood that the participants of my memory felt in.


And true enough the song grew on me, and everytime this song is played i smiled remembering about the night of 18th September, the first time when i completely love the song and the memory that came with it. It was beautiful, the most sincere captivating vision that i will always replay in my mind, not tarnish with any bad element or anything, just a pure happy remembrance that will always creep up to the surface whenever I Gotta Feeling plays.


I love that feeling, when you hear a song a memory souvenir that is attach to it just sweeps itself into your mind and let it be echoed. It's the sweetest feeling when you smile happily thinking about it.


I love to laugh at happy memories to myself in the room when these happy memories just appear in the mind when you're alone :P




One more topic to revised for Second Media Age. As usual, i will be doing anything BUT revising that damn topic. And i have 2 full notes to remember on that particular topic God help me T_T

I rather be going down to the city daytime then come back night time and feel that i have enough fun i should be doing work, instead of being at home the whole day and felt even more like sleeping the number of times i think of starting on work -_-


Well that's just an excuse lah actually.






Because i always find reasons to hangout in the city with people i love to share a laugh with :)

I'm worried that i'm too ugly for anybody to really love me.

Currently listening to: Hurts to Purr - Matinee




Wanna see how the face of someone looks like after not drinking and smoking for 28 days?





Still looks the same, and attitude still as annoying as ever :P



Friday was the first day that i came out of detox, and Ken Neth was there to officiate my drinking days again.

Ken Neth followed me to Ikea last Friday at Richmond to buy my furnitures for the new room (not like it's any super chun furnitures lah). We ate lunch at the Ikea Restaurant place where i can finally announce that that was my first time trying their Swedish Meatball thing that i NEVER bothered with in Malaysia before, and i have to admit, that Swedish Meatball is actually quite nice to eat, luckily i ask him to order a large plate to share :P Cause it was that good, but not to the extent where Denise says "i don't have to fly all the way to Malaysia for Swedish Meatballs anymore!" which in my opinion, she does things for all the wrong reasons anyway.



"I cannot eat already.... you finish it okay?"



Guess who said that and then eat the whole damn thing after that -_-

Thank God for guy friends who follows you to Ikea and help you carry all the unassembled furnitures and mattress into the trolley-cart, because i know if i do this myself i would end up in the hospital for severe back-pain and hand injury.

We went to Mr. Tulk's Cafe that is conjoined with the State Library after furniture-shopping; my first beer after 28 days is mark at Mr. Tulk's with me ordering Peroni to officiate the end of detox.

When the waiter placed my Peroni down on the table in front of me, i hold the beer bottle in my hand and stare at it for awhile, wondering how it would be like after not touching alcohol for nearly a good one month and feeling apprehensive about the taste of it.

"What's wrong?"
"nothing, just........ feels weird that's all"

I took my first gulp of beer from the bottle, and hell... i rediscover the love for beer again :)

I shouldn't feel scared, there's a reason why i love drinking it in the first place.
But it still took me a long time to adjust myself to consume beer because in the span of 10 minutes Ken Neth has went through 2 pots of Carlton Draught, and i'm NOT EVEN halfway with my Peroni -_-

Can't believe my drinking capabilities has come to that stage where i have to struggle to even go through half of the bottle.

After dinner at Hwaro where halfway back to the city center i can barely walk because i over-eat so i have to sit on the steps in front of the Supreme Victorian Court building along the roadside. We ate so much at Hwaro the thought of eating more food after that would make us want to projectile vomit on the road then.

The amount of food we ate at Ikea and then at Mr. Tulk's like fucking gluttons we should be shot dead sometimes for over-consuming food that we don't need -_-



I stayed in the city the whole day because that night itself i got Pranava's farewell thingy to go to. After Ken Neth i went to May-Threen's place and then to Alex's after he got back from work, to which i wanted to go to North Melbourne after May-Threen's but then it started raining EXTRA HEAVILY AGAIN so i made a detour to Alex's instead. You have no idea how much i din't feel like walking again after i settled nicely on his big couch watching TV which was playing Two and a Half Men but because i have Pranava and Jovan's farewell Brown Brother's White Wine gift with me and i told Aljafri that i will be there shortly, i reluctantly got up from the couch and start my journey to North Melbourne.

I would have open the Brown Brothers myself and drink it with Alex but...... i don't think i want to over-exert on the first day i start drinking again -_-



For your information, Kin Lee and i did not go to any other parties before that because we're very undecided people HOHOHO.




It was suppose to be a Halloween party as well but knowing me, i screw the costume part and just went in my normal attire as in my entire life i have never dress-up in any make-believe costumes at all but then i went there and i saw some people quite semangat in their costume get-ups i got quite bombarded by these people on my normal outfit -_-



Marto: "May i know what are you dress-up as?"
"detoxed Eunice"

But i went round and play with other people's costume props instead.




With Marto and Chors, myself wearing Chors' policeman hat and fake moustache accompanied with Kimberley's nerd glasses.


Don't i look handsome as a man? :P

I went back home at about 2am. 4 hours later i HAVE to wake up at 6.30am to go down to the city AGAIN because i have to open the door for the delivery people delivering my furnitures to the new place ohmygod fuck my life lah but it's okay thank god when i reach my place in South Yarra they called just in time to say they will be at my place in half an hour so i don't actually have to wait for them THAT LONG.

My room now has its furnitures albeit all unassembled. So when Wei Liang comes down on November 15th i will catch him to assemble the furnitures for me. Come on lahhh... Ikea furnitures, what so hard to put up right. I think putting furnitures together is something only engineers are able to figure out because knowing me-eeeee.... i set-up it wouldn't even look like any form of furniture that i buy okay -_-

So now, i don't have to worry about anything else related to my room, except moving in (in 2 weeks time!). Then when Wei Liang comes down, we will stock my fridge up with food and beer and our holiday itinerary in Melbourne is well taken care off till i fly to Sydney :P

After the delivery people send the furnitures up to the apartment for me, i locked up the house and was all ready to go home because i was exhausted and i'm looking forward to jumping into bed in my own room, and you should have seen the look on my face when my phone rang and i saw the Caller ID blinking on my phone screen at 9 something in the morning ohmygod why 9am in Melbourne looks like it's afternoon already seriously.

Annabelle: "Where are you now"
"...... In South Yarra..... what you want"
"EHHH-HHHHH..... you can drink already right-ttt???"
"....... technically-"
"YOU COME TO SWANSTON STREET RIGHT NOW"



..........

People born in the year of the Tiger can be so demanding i tell you.

We ate breakfast at one of the cafes along Flinders Lane, then straight after breakfast she drag me to this old-school alley-street bar just a few doors down the alley and we sat on old-school stools ordering beer in this bar tuck away under this gray building ala hippie style. She has been smoking since breakfast (people now got diet back after appendicitis i tell you) and now that she's drinking, she decides to destroy her lungs, kidneys and liver all together because 6 days in the hospital feels like she's deprived of doing these corruptions.


I can do with the drinking but the smoking abit too much lah.



Beer at 11 something in the morning ohmygod what the hell after-detox program is this -_-



"Not that i don't like the tea-drinking you...... but i din't realise how much i actually miss drinking with you wei. I sound damn mean right.... missing you for all the bad things that nearly killed you"
"It's okay. Means we can do so much shit with each other like that if we're truthful"



Of all my group of friends (not like i got super banyak lah -_-), i know alot of people who are majoritively born in 1986, and i have to admit they are quite interesting characters to identify with. They have this different distinct characteristics that i could relate a little of myself in each of them, and i savor the times hanging out with these 1986 people that i still cherish to keep in touch with because i really love the memories that most of them give me, except that i abhor the part where they have this ability to mess up my mind, and messing up my mind is not enough for them you know. Surely at some point, THEY HAVE TO MESS UP MY LIFE AS WELL.



3 tigers has manage to screw up my life quite nicely at three different points of my life.


And I'm sitting down drinking beer with one of them now who is eating MORE FOOD after that heavy breakfast we had and drinking MORE BEER after the two three four seven that she chug down in the span of 30 minutes whereas i only went through... 2 bottles -_-

I called this person friend again after a year and 2 months of cutting all ties with her because time heals alot on my part, except that it took me awhile to actually fully call this moron friend again. In fact we got to be even better friends even after all the shits she did to mess everything up for me.


Actually, main reason why i restring all ties with her was because she literally DID NOT GIVE ME THE SPACE THAT I NEEDED hence i was harassed by her for 6-7 months till she gives it a rest about a month or two and then, she start harassing me again. Which i have to say...... it works lah -_-

Which means, people should never give me any space at all if they want to redeem all relationships with me.




Ask me what she did to me. In fact, ask me what these 3 morons did to me then we can compare and contrast our social circle together :P




Ken Neth says to meet at the State Library tomorrow to study at 10am haiyoh fuck my life.

If it wasn't for the idea of eating breakfast i would just ignore him and meet him in the afternoon instead. But i suspect that it would be 10 minutes in the library and the rest of the day eating at random places and going back to the library and study for another 10 minutes lah -_-

Somemore tomorrow going to rain also damn it.



I aim to finish one topic of Second Media Age tonight, and the next day finish another topic, and consequently keep this up till 13th of November. I hope this plan works, but die die also i HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK haiyoh why do i always to this to myself seriously -_-



Remember the burn that i got on my forearm from ironing my clothes?



It's become quite a chun scar lah i have to say.

Maybe i should accidentally burn my arm with the iron more so i can get more chun scars like this.






Or maybe i'm just being dumb so please don't say anything and layan me only can -_-